The Bizarre Laws That Time And Common Sense Forgot

As with cultures and people, laws will tend to vary greatly depending on where you are in the world. Factors affecting laws will depend on the people of a given place, whether or not there is a government or if that government is stable and has the support of the people. Perhaps a dictator bends the laws to his cruel will to serve his own nefarious machinations. Perhaps a just democracy has put laws in place to stabilize what used to be a lawless nation. Whatever the reason, we can agree that laws have a purpose, but whether or not those laws achieve that purpose is open for debate.

Sometimes, however, one comes across a law with seemingly no logical purpose, that has stemmed from a bizarre interpretation of some arcane law from a bygone era, or has somehow been distorted into a hollow mockery of its former self. Regardless of how they came about, some places have some truly baffling laws, with the more reasonable amongst us left dumbfounded as to how they came into existence. Here is list of example of where the law has seemingly gone awry when it came to providing its citizens with guidelines on what is and isn't acceptable.

Making Furniture (While Naked)

In Devon, Texas, it's apparently against the law for a person to make furniture in the nude. While from the outset this might seem like a strange law, but if you take some time to think about it, it's really not that silly at all. In fact, having a law like this might save lives. Or it might just be completely unnecessary in the first place.

If you take a logical step from the fact that laws are there to help people and prevent tragedy, then one can assume that this law is in place for the very same reason. Imagine what making furniture might entail, the specifics are not clear as to if it's building furniture from scratch or constructing something from a box, but you have an idea of the tools involved. Generally things like power drills, saws, nails, nail guns, sandpaper and/or sanding machines, the list goes on. Now imagine a list of all the potential accidents and unpleasant occurrences that could take place were a person to be using all of these things while naked. Bad times indeed.

Making Faces At A Dog

In Oklahoma, you could find yourself in trouble with the law if you happen to be caught making "ugly faces" at a dog. Why the law-writers of this fine region thought it necessary to protect dogs from the ravages of the human visage is something we might never know, but what we do know is that they felt that the well-being of these dogs in terms of experiencing ugly faces was worth protecting for some reason.

Perhaps they felt that the indigenous Oklahoma population was far too ugly and - being "dog people" or closet animal rights activists - they felt that they would spare the feelings and perhaps lives of countless dogs and proceed to put forward a law preventing unnecessary cruelty to the animals.

However, this does beg the question of what would happen if the dog itself was ugly?

Jumping From A Building

One might understand that jumping off of a building would bring sever repercussions, breaking and entering, trespassing, vandalism, not to mention potential harm to oneself could be cited as possible reasons in wanting to prevent people from jumping from buildings. However, in reality, the main reason that people would want to hurl themselves from something really, really tall is that they actually want to kill themselves. This, ladies and gentlemen, is known as suicide by jumping off a damn building, smearing yourself on the concrete below, for tourists and fat kids in caps to gawk at.

As with most transgressions of the law, jumping from a building carries a similar law-related penalty: death. You read it right, the penalty for jumping from a building in New York, is death. Basically, the penalty for killing yourself is yet another opportunity to have yourself killed. You could probably think of it as a sort of two-for-the-price-of-one deal. But on death.

Doll Faces In France

It would be cool if you went to France and they were actively banning all dolls with faces (i.e. the ones that act as nightmare fuel), but this is sadly not true. The issue here is that all dolls and doll-like things must have human faces, something which is enforced by a law of its own because heaven forbid of anyone were to roll with the crazy notion that a doll were to have the face of something other than a human. Actually, come to think of it, most of the dolls with "human faces" don't have anything even remotely resembling human features, they're all soul-less robotic machines sent back in time to destroy us via our nightmares.

Perhaps those behind this law though it prudent to pass it, in the vain attempt that non-human faces would terrify the youngster in possession of them, unwittingly consenting to a law which would still wreak untold eons of horror upon the psyche of kids everywhere, most of whom are probably now adults with an incorrigible fear of freaky dolls.

Goldfish Bowls

Not content with having a monopoly on fine-tasting pizza and world-saving plumbers, the Italians have to start having their own crazy laws, this time involving goldfish and their natural habitat, the bowl.

The Italian town of Monza has gone as far so as to effectively ban goldfish from being kept in their stereotypical goldfish bowl. The reasoning behind this is that "a fish kept in a bowl has a distorted view of reality" which presumably doesn't mean that they can simultaneously see the past, present and future, becoming one with the great flow of Time. Apparently they are more suited to rectangular tanks, so instead of being encased in a sort of reverse panopticon (but no less of a prison), the poor fish are doomed to their eternal encasement in something with sides and edges. How delightful.

Being Poorly Dressed

In Athens, Greece, it's quite possible for you to have your driver's license taken away if an officer of the law deems you to be either "poorly dressed" or "unbathed". Perhaps this is to discourage hobos from driving into highly populated areas or maybe it's part of a totalitarian crackdown on cleanliness that if a person can't do such basic things as dress themselves and bathe themselves, then they have no right to be driving whilst under the influence of filth (imagine your license being taken away because of a DUF charge, it even sounds dumb to say).

"Sorry officer, I...I forgot to bathe this morning and...my tie...it's a little crooked"

"Well son, I'm afraid I'm going to have to remove your license. Last week it was an untied shoelace, the week before it was uncombed hair, I've had it up to here with you and I can't let these transgressions continue any further. Lord knows, next week you could be selling crack to kids and snorting dead babies through a rolled-up banknote"

Ice Cream Truck Music

A little place called Stafford Township in New Jersey has taken it upon themselves to ban that delightfully nostalgic icon of yesteryear: the ice cream truck music.

Likening the melodious sound of many a childhood both past and present to that of a car alarm in the early morning or the engine of a low-flying jet, Stafford lawmakers have banned all ice cream truck drivers from playing any amplified music from their vans and trucks, instead only allowing them to "equip their vehicles with hand bells or bells operated by human hands". Neither are they allowed to shout, raise their voices or blow a horn to promote their wares, as the law also prohibits those simple actions, denying the tradesmen their very heritage, which is steeped in actions such as...shouting and stuff.